At this stage the parent is saying to the child, no matter what you think you want to do, I know better, just do it my way. If you do I will reward you (including through the lack of admonition) and if you don’t, I will punish you (including through raised voice or exclusion).

This offers the child no choices. It is exacerbated when the parent tells the child they are ‘good’ because they have done what the parent wanted them to do.

The outcome of this style of parenting is that the child learns to be a good child by forgoing their own needs in order to please and satisfy their parents. Invariably, this spreads to other authority figures in their childhood such as relatives and teachers.

The child grows up without an independent voice for their own thoughts and a belief that somehow their own needs will be met throughout life just by pleasing and satisfying others. This plays out in adult relationships and unless the child changes in adulthood, will never result in a deep ongoing, and loving relationship.